Tuesday, December 30, 2008

DOUBLE TROUBLE


After the busy yet exciting trip to NYC it was time to take a vacation. May be different than you imagined:
1- Small Island(somewhere you have never been and never will go)
2- 30 x 2'' Flat Screen (60'')
3- Daily Circulation of the News & Observer

One thing to pass on to you fellow readers today, Enjoy!:
34 & 28



Hope Everyone has a great New Years,
2''



Sent Via Blackberry

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Live From New York....

It's Sunday night! You may want a funny post, but this game is about as serious as diarrhea on an airplane. Perhaps the biggest regular season game in franchise history, the Carolina Panthers are travelling to the Meadowlands to take on the Giants. The WPW team has been in NYC all weeekend preparing for this matchup. It is supposed to be a zero degreed wind chill. We will be sitting on row 15 behind the Giants Bench, so keep an eye out for AC4, Tom, and myself. I may be making picks with my heart rather than my brain, but here they are:

Rick's Picks:
Panthers +4
Panthers Team Total over 16.5

Noisewater

Friday, December 19, 2008

Moving on after that Thursday night creampuff

I've seen it a hundred times with these frauds--somehow pulling wins out of their asses, so no real surprise.

Okay, for tonight, let's roll with Montana to get it done in the FCS Bowl Sub Division, DI AA, or whatever the hell it is called. I like this Montana team, and for them to be receiving points is what I like to refer to as, "questionable decision making." Screw the points, take the ML at +110. For all you loyal readers out there, I have said it a million times, you need to be working from at least 4 different sportsbook accounts. I personally play from seven different, reputable online books as well as my Vegas "runners" and two different "locals."

Tonight, the play is Montana.

And look forward, as I have spotted some great bowl game matchups that should cash easily.

As always, good luck and God Bless.

-JB

Upper East Side, NYC

Greetings from the Upper East Side of NYC. Rick, Anderson, and myself arrived in the Big Apple late last night. We didn't have time to post last night since we went straight from the private jet to the Saki Bar. What a sight we woke up to this morning. A solid 4 inches of beautiful white snow. We are surrounded by aspiring Swedish supermodels here in the Upper East Side and they can't keep their hands off us. We are so WPW. Check out our place. Our agenda is packed full for the weekend. A Good friend of the WPW team, Henry Modell let us use their courtside seats next to Spike Lee in MSG for the Knicks(-3)/Bucks game. After Madison Square Garden, we are headed to Cafe Wha? to show our faces and shake a few hands and meet up with some of those Sweeds. One of them already told me she wanted to ski my slopes and ride my lift. I told her I didn't have a lift, but she could ride my pole. My driver's outside, I need to run...

Wake Forest -8




Stay tuned for more.


2''
Noisewater
AC4

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Manning and the Frauds

I don't know who is more overrated in the NFL-- the Colts or the Steelers? It's a tough choice. Tonight let's take the points with Jacksonville. All signs point for a close game and would not be surprised with the outright win by the Jags.

Play: Jacksonville Jaguars +6

As always, good luck & God bless,

-JB

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

99 Problems but a Pick Ain't One.

I'm just kidding, I don't actually have any problems. I'm getting packed for NYC and I don't have time to analyze. Let's scratch that itch and make a bet. I have two Rick's picks tonight:

Take East Carolina +5 (first half)
Georgia Tech -7 (first half)



Stay tuned.


Noisewater

Monday, December 15, 2008

The History of The Pelvic Thrust... and a Monday Night Pick

Good evening readers, and welcome to Monday night. Over the years, I have noticed a repeating theme in our American pop culture: 'The Pelvic Thrust.' Elvis was the first to introduce the stimulating move to American culture. The pelvic thrust has become an art. I first observed the pelvic thrust in Wayne's World. They called it 'Shwing!'



I had no idea they filmed that clip at Foster's! Recently I stumbled upon one of the most impressive pelvic thrusts I have seen in my lifetime. Peter Gabriel. Watch the first 35 seconds:




I salute you Elvis, Peter Gabriel, and Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar. Without you, what would we have done at middle school dances when we wanted to show a girl how much we cared.


Rick's pick:
Over 39 (Cleveland vs. Philadelphia)


Noisewater

Sunday, December 14, 2008

JB is on the Loose

After a brief stint in a minimum security prison, yes, I, Jonathan Bigfoot, am free again. Free to walk unattained by my guard, Bruno, and breathe the sweet, crisp, winter air. While in the slammer, I have garnered even more sources to my already large and distinguished "gambling circle."

My information syndicate, sports-economics philosophies, and bruit intelligence will grace this wonderful forum in the near future. I appreciated everyone's concern, cards, and tokens of appreciation while I was incarcerated. I look forward to our continued success.

Always remember, there are no substitutes for a good lawyer and deep pockets--they can get you anywhere in life.

I'm going home and making my wife wear a reindeer suit while I'm pulling her antlers from behind.

On a gambling note, I hope everyone got in on my future bet for Florida to win the national championship at 2.5-1 odds. I personally played the max amount at 4 different casinos and now have created a nice arbitrage situation, where I am going to bet Oklahoma ML and create a guaranteed profit to jump start the bankroll.

God bless and enjoy the holiday season.

-JB

BcS: U.S. Ranked 4th




After determining the Big-12 championship game participants, the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.

"Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work--including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule--our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking."



Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated "The US only had two major victories--Japan and Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren't influenced by head-to-head contests--they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event."

German Chancellor Adolf Hitler said "Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks." Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn 'style points' to enhance Germany's rankings. Hitler protested "Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces."

The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented " France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2."

Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.

WPW inc. has been working extremely hard to use some of their connections within the sport world to get a change. You can help too! When reading our site click on an ad(located above). This will support us and enable us to work with the NCAA and BCS committees to get the change NCAAF needs.



Picks:
SF +6.5 (buy hook)
Tenn. -3

Good Luck,
2''

Friday, December 12, 2008

WPW Christmas Party TONIGHT!!!

The WPW crew will be out of the office this afternoon until Saturday Morning. We will be attending the annual WPW Christmas Bash. If you were invited feel free to stop by..the egg nog is on us. Everyone have a great night and well be back to posting winners Saturday morning.

VIP Lounge Shown Below: WPW Fall Interns: Dancer, Prancer, Cupid

Thursday, December 11, 2008

"Don't Give Up ... Don't Ever Give Up"

Laugh. Think. Cry.

If you don't know who Jimmy V is, let WPW help you out. Jimmy Valvano was, most famously, the head coach for the basketball team at NC State when they won their championship against Houston's Phi Slamma Jamma in 1983. He was stricken with cancer, and 10 years later at the first ever ESPYs was given the first annual Arther Ashe award, as Dick Vitale put it, "being a winner on and off the court." Jimmy V was very highly respected amongst his peers, his teams, and his opponents. He was a man of motivation and should inspire everyone. With the end of this years Jimmy V week, we would like to honor the man himself.



Click Here to dontate to The Jimmy V Foundation.

Picks:
St. Joes/Nova Over 128 2 dimes

Ricks Pick:
Bears/Saints under 46

Good luck,
2''


Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Whoop!

There it is. The over was a lock, and you're welcome. After witnessing last nights game, Tom and myself went ahead and booked flights and pulled some strings for tickets to the week 16 battle between the Carolina Panthers and the New York Football Giants.

This past week my brother, a photojournalist, traveled to China to do a report on those cheating bastards and their gymnastics training programs. From what he came back with, it looks like they deserved to win gold.

Who doesn't love pictures of some happy-go-lucky kids having a good time?

Anyways, lets move on to tonight's pick.

Rick's Pick:
West Virginia -2.5


Noisewater

Monday, December 8, 2008

Noisewater, Your Monday Night Man

Good evening America. I have a quick question for each of you:

If it was time to elect a new world leader and your vote was the only vote that counted, who would you vote for?

Candidate A - Associates with crooked politicians and consults an astrologist. He has had two mistresses in his life. He chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10
martinis a day.
Candidate B - He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college, and drinks a quart of whiskey every night.
Candidate C - He is a Decorated War hero and a vegetarian. He doesn't smoke, and drinks an occasional beer. And he never cheats on his wife.

(choose who you would vote for and then look below the picture for more info)

With playoff implications for both squads, tonight's game in Charlotte is the best Monday Night Football match up we have seen all season. I already know the final score of tonight's game will be 24-20, I'm just not sure who the winner will be. It is going to come down to the team that has the ball last, and which team makes the last mistake. Too tough to say, so I am only taking the over of 39.

Rick's Pick:
Over (Tampa vs. Carolina) 39



Who would you have voted for?
A- Franklin D. Roosevelt

B- Winston Churchill
C- Adolf Hitler


Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Champagne Winners,

Noisewater

Sunday, December 7, 2008

WPW Corp. (Nasdaq: ^WPW)

Recession?
WPW looks great!

Enough said, Straight to the picks:

Houston/ Green Bay over 47
Minn. -9.5

Stay updated will be adding more.

As Always, good luck!
2''

Saturday, December 6, 2008

This is WinnerCenter


Howzit! Good morning everyone and welcome to WinnerCenter, I'm Rick Noisewater and this is my associate Dell laptop. Man do we have a show for you today. I say that about every show but this time I really mean it, seriously. We have several games, football and basketball. A pseudo wise man once told me that there are two winners in every game, the over/under and the ATS. There are in fact many more than just two winners in every game when you consider first half bets, halftime bets, and quarters. So we have four picks for you today. Let's get right into it...

Rick's Picks:
Basketball:
NC State first half +5.5

Football:
Over (Florida vs. Bama) 52.5
Under (Washington vs. California) 52
Appy State -6
Hawaii +7.5

That's it readers, thanks for reading WinnerCenter. We are going to take a 23 and a half hour break. Thanks for joining us.

This is WinnerCenter.

Noisewater.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

James 'You Just Got Ricked' Johnson

The transition from football season to basketball season can be woeful, but Wake Forest's James Johnson got me primed and ready last night with this amazing jam session: (Rick's Picks below)



Thanks James, we should do it again sometime.


Rick's Picks:
Under (UCLA vs. Texas) 130
Under (Oakland vs. San Diego) 41.5
San Diego -9

I'm headed to the gym. Thursdays are arms and back.

Noisewater.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Hurry Up! Get it in!

...Your bet I mean.

I know its late, but take Wake -21.

Noisewater.

Monday, December 1, 2008

December Update: Consumerism Kills!

I hope nobody else wasted their winnings on the new Guns N' Roses album last week. It sucks, but I still listen to it during my morning personal training session with Helga. Listening to Chinese Democracy is like seeing a commoner out at 'the bar.' I see that they are out of place, and they look at me and they know that I know that they know that I know that they don't belong; but I just can't stop looking because it is so fucking fun. Then I grin, letting them know that their pain makes me feel good.

On a more serious note, Martha Noisewater was telling me that every year on the Friday after thanksgiving thousands of commoners wait in line for hours so they can buy shit (I mean shit) on sale. According to this article, one Wal-Mart employee was killed because a mob of bargain-crazed commoners stampeded him to death. A pregnant woman and four others were sent to the hospital, and the commoners kept shopping. I personally do not buy things on sale because I prefer to pay full price, but I didn't realize this kind of shit happened outside the beltline. And I have never bought anything from Wal-Mart, but I am pretty fucking sure nothing in there is worth waiting in line for, much less stampeding somebody to death.

I'll tell you what makes me feel good in December: a four game parlay and a glass of egg nog. The best things in life are free (or more than you can afford, sorry). So I took the liberty of listing a few of the best things in my life that are free: (I'm open to suggestions)
  • My rich friends
  • Tootsie Pop after a haircut
  • We Pick Winners
  • Drinks at the casino
  • Cable (I know a guy)
  • Knowing that skin cancer will kill them before they procreate:




Rick's Pick:
Under (Duke vs. Purdue) 145


Noisewater